patience made | it's a boy!

last night my husband and i gathered with a large group of our family and friends to find out the gender of our baby. after our appointment last monday, our midwife wrote down the sex, and tucked it inside a sealed envelope. i took that envelope to the post office and had them fax it to my dad's home office. my mother received it on that end and for a week...she was the only person who knew the secret! she made cupcakes with pink or blue icing inside and these are the results...

(i think the video says it all, but more on the subject later)

patience made | new designs

i love the simple text designs on my isavirtue stationery. but i've always wanted to do some sort of pretty script in the corner of the envelopes. corner text is much more challenging or expensive depending on how i choose to do it however...so with these new designs i'm going to start with regular printing. the upside of this is that it allows for personalization!

i'm also accepting custom holiday orders now (yes, it's time to start thinking about sending out christmas greetings!)

isavirtue stationery

pregnancy 0.5

twenty week update

the bump: i love having a bump - and i knew i would! the downsides are that up until this point, and probably for another few weeks it's mostly soft and squishy and can definitely be mistaken for fat depending on what i'm wearing. although it grosses me out a bit, i hope my belly button pops soon because that indentation ruins the whole bump! i'm also kind of obsessed with other pregnant women's tummies. i took a prenatal yoga class this week and wanted to stare intently at the other bumps but it somehow feels wrong so i just took quick glances.

clothes: i haven't had a problem with clothes and i'm curious to see if i will. i pretty much only wear empire waist dresses so that's incredibly convenient. and i never really wore anything very tight like little shorts or tank tops etc. i also lost about twelve pounds in the first trimester as a result of eating well for the first time ever. i think this has given me a bit of extra time with all of my dresses that might normally have gotten tighter. i've just started gaining weight...which is probably for the best. i did decide to do one maternity shop (online - i had no luck in real life). i bought six dresses -  three from asos maternity and three from pink blush maternity. the pink blush dresses are wrap and are a little tight for something i just bought, but they weren't very expensive and i hate sending back online orders. i was really impressed with the size of the dresses from asos and they are very unique (for maternity wear!).

dresses i purchased (top asos, bottom pink blush)

bladder: i pee all the time. but you know...i don't really know whether that's any different from pre-pregnancy. jon used to joke that he could tell me to "use the washroom" at any time (even if i didn't think i had to go)...and i would. i wake up between 3-6 times a night to pee which is different from 2-3 times before the schmoolet.

nausea: again, not sure this is any different from not being pregnant. i've always been pretty nauseous. i always get waves of it at the strangest times and pregnancy is no different. in the first trimester if i was nauseous i would eat something (despite all feelings to the contrary) and it worked every time. that sometimes works in the second trimester but not as often. i'm scared to write this for fear of some sort of nausea gods cracking down on me...but i have yet to throw up. maybe that's a reward for always dealing with this issue.

sleep: once more...this is something i've never done well. i'm pretty much an expert at naps but i never ever sleep through the night. i can see how this is going to get uncomfortable as my belly gets bigger. i'm a stomach sleeper and this without a doubt has been the hardest thing - i miss it greatly and sometimes cave and hitch my leg up on a pillow. but then my back hurts so...no win. i had jon pick me up the snoogle pregnancy pillow and OH MY why don't we all sleep with this all the time? it somehow supports you in all the right places and keeps you happy on one side for a looong time. i love you snoogle.

food: in the first trimester i only wanted simple, healthy, straightforward foods - a piece of chicken and a salad...an apple and some crackers...yoghurt and half a piece of buttered whole wheat bread. but now of course (as they say), my appetite has widened. i'm enjoying sugar (and should probably cut back), and fast food. the only thing that isn't different is how much i can eat in one sitting - not very much at all. i get full super super quick and can rarely finish any meal. jon gets lots of extras from my plate. i'm also not very hungry at night which is a bit strange because i was enjoying the whole "dinner" process this summer. but now i'm lucky to get a few bites in between 6 pm and 9 pm.

cravings: none that i can think of really. certain things however, taste like the best food in the world. this includes pineapple, sourdough bread and barbecue chicken. 

aversions: none really. i still dislike the same things. jon often suggests we order pizza - and before this is something i loved so i would have tried to resist but failed. now i say no a lot because the "idea" of eating pizza kind of grosses me out. 

mood: i'm not going to make any conclusive comments on this because my life has changed so dramatically in the past month. if i'm sad or anxious or fatigued i'm willing to bet it has way more to do with the fact that i'm not currently working and usually sit at home all day. 

doctor: in victoria i got lucky and was referred to a great female OBGYN by a walk-in clinic doctor. i liked her and felt comfortable and never had to wait at appointments. here in ontario it's been next to impossible to find a doctor. i won't get into the details but it's been a series of condescension, bad reviews, locational issues, full up rosters etc. so i took things into my own hands and looked into a midwife. we met with her this past week and we both feel good about it. she's young but knowledgeable and we feel cared for and connected now. i'll still be giving birth at a hospital however.

ultrasound: this was very relaxing. much better than my first one at six weeks where i was crying, in pain (don't ever drink as much water as they tell you!), couldn't understand the technician, and got chastised. this time i had a little chat with the technician, then closed my eyes and relaxed for twenty minutes. she had a total poker face so there was no point in watching her. she then called in my husband and my mother and we all got to see the baby wiggle and such. i got one really great photo out of it, which i've included here. 

sex: our midwife wrote down the sex for us. then she wrapped it about eight times, and put it in a sealed envelope. i took it to the post office where they faxed it to my mother and then resealed it without me seeing. it's now hidden between our mattresses and jon doesn't know where it is...shhh. we are gathering with our family this sunday to reveal whether we're having a boy or a girl. i'm still hoping for a girl (even though i know it's a boy), and jon is still firmly in the boy boy boy camp. he wants to be able to say "my son, my son"...like some corny movie line.

name: if it's a boy jon wants the name to start with a "j". all the men (and even some women) in his family have names that begin with this letter. i have a distaste for almost all "j" names so if the schmoolet is male, the name is pretty much chosen...and i don't mind it. i have lots of gal names that i've always loved but i haven't let myself even think about that possibility!

nursery: this room is still full of all of our moving boxes. we'll have to get those out of there at some point! i've approached our landlord about painting the room and he said we could "talk further about it." i'm feeling light grey for sure.

prep: thinking about classes and equipment and such but no action.

art | art toronto 2013

art toronto offers a cross section of major toronto art centres and galleries in one large format presentation (think science fair style). galleries from other areas such as asia and the uk are also represented, though i'm not quite sure how they fit it. each galleries brings works by artists they represent. below are some of my favourites.

works by michael angove at quantum contemporary art

i'm not sure these images do the coloured pencil drawings justice (or any of the works below!). but these unique still life formations are some of the most mysterious and magical items i have ever laid eyes on. the choice of objects, and the quietly perfect composition leave me feeling both at ease, and yearning for more information.

works by atsuko fujii at quantum contemporary art

again, still life artwork - but with a twist. atsuko fujii also creates an atmosphere of wonder with his portrayals of fruit and utensils rising perilously into mid-air (or magically depending on how you perceive it). 

works by jeffrey milstein at bau-xi gallery toronto

i saw this photograph below in large format and that was an important factor because the grandiose scale gives the image a distinct sense of presence. growing up, my father worked for one of the major canadian airlines. so even though i'm a bit of a nervous nelly in the sky nowadays, airports hold a soft spot in my heart, and these photos show you the sheer geometric beauty of them.

works by virginia mak at bau-xi gallery toronto

i was really moved by these chromogenic prints. like many art lovers and buyers, i find portraiture hard to connect with (though photography is infinitely easier than paintings). but because mak has chosen to present her subjects out of focus, the viewer can pretend the women are whomever they want. i'm actually considering this work as a future purchase, i really love it. 

works by harry enchin at bezpala brown gallery

i've seen versions of this type of photography/amalgamation online - who knows maybe the work belonged to harry enchin (ah yes, the downsides of the internet). but these photos are fascinating none the less - the artist has taken century old black and white images, and returned to the same spot to take a picture of contemporary society. he then melds the two together in the most interesting ways.

works by jesse bromm at neubacher shor contemporary?

i have this artist's name written on a card from neubacher shor contempoary but i can't find his name on their website. so who knows... what i do know is how amazing these little vignettes are. miniature people in everyday settings on unlikely foundations such as needles, shotgun shells and animal skulls. 

works by catto houghton at estudio antena

i noticed these works because they remind me of one of my favourite artists (i'll save that for an art vs art). it's hard to see in these images but i love when artists leave some of the foundation visible (i.e. raw canvas, blank wood panel etc) instead of covering the whole space. i also love the geometric angles and the crisp masking lines.

works by anna barlow at bicha gallery

let me preface this by saying that i'm a hard sell when it comes to glass and ceramic sculture. while i can appreciate the time and effort that goes into creating it, it usually bores me, or doesn't feel contemporary enough. but these melted ice cream ceramics by anna barlow melt my sculpture cold heart. i think they are beautiful, especially in the way they capture a single moment in time - while something is disintegrating.

patience made | favourites for photoshoot

for a very long time i've been thinking about how neat it would be to have my stationery photographed "in situ" - meaning in use, and in a place in the home that makes sense. so i've teamed up with the lovely hannah pobar photography and hopefully the next time you see these lovely stationery pieces...they'll look even lovelier!

it was a fun challenge for me though because i had to pick all of my favourite colours, inks, and message combinations. so i guess in my mind these are the best of the best!

 

musings | a sense of self

a month ago i worried about how i would feel today. not today specifically, but i worried about this general time period. i was anxious about how i would feel after a summer filled with inspiration, stimulation and general busy-ness. i touched on the subject here and here but i can't stop thinking about it so i thought i would delve into it a bit more.

a month ago, i wondered if i would find a job in october, and if i didn't - could i be happy at home each day? i find it ironic that this was a concern at all because two months ago i dreamt of the days in september when the arts festival was over, and i could reclaim some of my personal time to do luxurious things like house cleaning, crafting and napping (of course nothing turns out how you want it to - i was pretty ill in late september).

what i am particularly anxious about is losing my sense of self. a huge part of who i am is in the kind of work that i do. i've taken great pains in the last ten years to ensure that i am constantly surrounded with what i love most - the arts. whether through my education, my career or my volunteer work i've been lucky to learn about and work with art and artists.

but now, in this new place, and with my recent arts positions ended...i am at a bit of a loss. who am i now if i'm not working in the arts? who am i if i sit at home all day and wonder how long i can put off doing the dishes? (all the while feeling guilty because isn't that my only job now?). yes, growing a human life is interesting and sometimes challenging, but as far as i can tell it doesn't take up every waking moment. i feel as though my life is on pause - but for how long?? until i give birth? until i find a job? until my child is a toddler?

so in the meantime i'm trying to motivate myself to concentrate on the things i do have. i'm still selling prints for the wonderful ted harrison. i'm still making stationery and encouraging letter writing. and i'm still on the board of directors for the integrate arts festival and i've had some new and interesting ideas regarding that.

art | matthew shelley

curate1k is not only an awesome concept for a website, it's a great place to find art that you can actually purchase. that's where i discovered the collage work of artist matthew shelley. these broken mountain scenes remind me of this art vs. art post, but of course they have their own distinct personality as well. my favourite aspects are shelley's surprising colour combinations, as well as the pieces which seem to be floating in an ethereal sea of nothingness.

musings | skinny vs. not and just knowing

skinny vs. not. it's a hot topic. for me, it's just life inside my head. whenever i see the latest trend, or contrast it with classic clothing with simple lines...whenever i try something on in a store or ponder fashion shapes that i really like...i always think the same thing: this would simply look better on a thin woman.

it's possible i think that way because of the images and messages the media has instilled within me throughout my lifetime. and being aware of that reality doesn't make it any easier to overcome mentally.

as a woman who has never really been "wispy" or "lean" or "willowy" i have to make certain decisions when it comes to what i wear. are you ready for a secret? here goes...

in the last five years or so, i've taken extra special care in how i dress each day. i'm lucky to get lots of compliments on the dresses i wear and people often tell me i look nice or well put together  (even when i don't always feel that way). for a long time these compliments actually made me uncomfortable. because i felt awkward about being overdressed in a society that is so often not nowadays. but then i came to realize that over dressing is a necessary component of looking good - for me. because i'm a little bigger, and of the hour glass shape variety, i feel like i need to try harder to look nice.

this is completely my own mental hang-up, but i'm convinced that i can't just throw on some leggings and a silk tank and rock it the way a skinny girl can. so i try a little harder. i do dresses and tights, buns and curls, earrings and necklaces. there are very few things i inherently know about myself, but i know that for me to look nice, i need to try a little harder than everyone else.

creator | kari herer

i'm very excited about these photographs. i believe i originally saw kari herer featured on honestly wtf - and was immediately bowled over by her work. perhaps the neatest angle for me, is the way in which multiple artforms come together to create the final product (illustration, flower arranging and photography. in other works illustration is replaced with staging which is truly it's own art form). the result is something ethereal and in the case of her darker images, mysterious.

see more

musings | on doing nothing

last night jon asked me "why are you just wandering around the apartment? are you looking for something?" and i said "no, i'm just trying to find something to do. which...is apparently the story of my life now." 

i sit here on a wednesday afternoon, alternating between reading, napping and looking at postings in the arts. i'm not quite sure what to do with myself. on the one hand i am feeling a distinct sense of freedom because my younger brother lent me his car for a bit. i could go anywhere! i could do anything! on the other hand i feel strangely trapped in this small new apartment. 

some relief came just a little while ago when i learned that our belongings would soon be here. perhaps with a couch, some actual surfaces, beautiful art on the walls and all of my craft supplies, i might feel motivated to actually do something. i've always been very good at making tasks and to do lists for myself. though in most instances the things i've needed to do have held some semblance of urgency - whereas now nothing does. so i do nothing.