musings | skinny vs. not and just knowing

skinny vs. not. it's a hot topic. for me, it's just life inside my head. whenever i see the latest trend, or contrast it with classic clothing with simple lines...whenever i try something on in a store or ponder fashion shapes that i really like...i always think the same thing: this would simply look better on a thin woman.

it's possible i think that way because of the images and messages the media has instilled within me throughout my lifetime. and being aware of that reality doesn't make it any easier to overcome mentally.

as a woman who has never really been "wispy" or "lean" or "willowy" i have to make certain decisions when it comes to what i wear. are you ready for a secret? here goes...

in the last five years or so, i've taken extra special care in how i dress each day. i'm lucky to get lots of compliments on the dresses i wear and people often tell me i look nice or well put together  (even when i don't always feel that way). for a long time these compliments actually made me uncomfortable. because i felt awkward about being overdressed in a society that is so often not nowadays. but then i came to realize that over dressing is a necessary component of looking good - for me. because i'm a little bigger, and of the hour glass shape variety, i feel like i need to try harder to look nice.

this is completely my own mental hang-up, but i'm convinced that i can't just throw on some leggings and a silk tank and rock it the way a skinny girl can. so i try a little harder. i do dresses and tights, buns and curls, earrings and necklaces. there are very few things i inherently know about myself, but i know that for me to look nice, i need to try a little harder than everyone else.