career | predictions of failure

via death to stock

When I have an idea for a blog post, I make a note of it on my phone. Today, out of curiosity, I scrolled all the way to the bottom. There it said:

Fine Arts Speech for new entrants last week: Gave examples of how I am still in the arts field - though I graduated three years prior. So scared that being pregnant means that no one in this field will hire me now. My insistence on working in the arts will fail - but not for lack of trying. 

Here's the thing - that's exactly how it went down. I would love to say that my worries amounted to nothing and that I found my dream job as a curator while seven months pregnant. Instead, from September 2013 to January 2015 I applied for almost 50 jobs. I received two interviews and one part-time position at a gallery I had worked at before, in a role I had done before (lesser actually, than the level I left at). I didn't know if I would ever see the light at the end of this search.

That's awkward for me to write. It makes me feel useless, and unworthy. So let's look at the variables - what was different from before when I was able to find jobs I loved?

I was in a new location.
I was pregnant.
I had a newborn.

That being said, it's not like I was advertising these facts in my cover letter. I wonder sometimes if maybe I wasn't trying that hard because of the latter two. But I was! I was nervous about how I would make it work, but I wanted each of those positions equally, and with gusto.

I've just begun work with an amazing organization called Craft Ontario. They enhance the visibility of contemporary craft for their members and create engaging events that invite the public to explore craft. It's a contract position in which I plan their annual craft show and fundraiser. I could hug them for seeing how capable I am and how perfect this position is for me.

I don't think I'll ever figure out what happened in the last year and a half (career wise, though I'm still trying to figure out babies). Luckily I had my work for Ted Harrison, my paper shop, and a lengthy stint of support from the government. Hopefully this new position leads to new and wonderful things for me - because if I've learned anything during this time at home; it's that having creative projects is an absolute must for me - something else I predicted correctly.