growing up with three brothers is enough to make any woman want a daughter. even if said brothers weren't your stereotypical testosterone filled males who liked to burp, watch sports and only play with trucks. in reality they played barbies with me more times then i can count, did arts and crafts with me, and even helped me clean my room. with a mother and father who worked nights, we spent a lot of time together during the days while they slept - and found a happy balance between time spent dressing dolls and building lego houses.
regardless, i still wanted a sister. and now i really want a daughter. *gasp* *shock* *awe*.
i've heard pregnant women are not supposed to talk about this! what is she saying? cover your ears!
it's not so much that i really don't want a little boy, but rather that i want to have a girl and get it over with so that i don't have to stress about whether having a darling daughter is something i'll ever experience. plus, with lack of described experience with those kinds of boys, how will i know how to deal, or interact, or play?
i mostly keep these thoughts to myself. i try not to let my desires slip loose too often for fear my husband and i will end up in a full out battle royale. though we inadvertently slip gender based pronouns into our conversations about this little peach (fruit of the week). i must be the stronger party in this regard however, because jon has absolutely no qualms about sharing with anyone and everyone how much he wants a son. this is an obsession based of course, in the fear of what his teenage daughter will be like (despite having a strange kinship with pre-teen girls, i have no doubt that she will hate me and am prepared). the truth is, he will be a wonderful father to a boy...or girl. when it comes to woman, he is one of the most understanding men i have ever known.
and here's the strangest part of it. when i imagine the baby inside of me (weird! not even sure if it's still there!), i imagine a boy. when i imagine the baby after delivery, it is absolutely a girl. what do you make of that??