pregnancy 1.1

jon and i are away at the cottage for a little "babymoon" as my best friend calls it. i'm assuming that's like a honeymoon, except you take it before the big event, not after.

can we talk about "movement" today? i use the term movement because i think i'm officially past the "kicking" stage (well, mostly). doctors and midwives never really refer to it as kicking anyways. perhaps they have some concerns about pregnant ladies feeling sort of antagonized by the child inside them when one uses a term such as kicking. regardless, the descriptor lives on in the mouths of women, forums and friends.

whatever you call it - i don't think i'm loving it anymore. in fact i'm trying to pinpoint a time frame in which i actually did love the movement. there may have been sporadic moments here and there where i was amazed - still am really. there's no doubt that feeling a baby inside you is an experience to say the least.

and i waited anxiously for it! at the fifteen week mark i started to pause throughout my day and try to feel...something...anything. but alas it wasn't until about twenty weeks that i could feel it, and about twenty-six that i could see it. it took even longer for jon to feel it and see it.
but in so many ways - the anxious wait for "movement" reminds me of so many other things that young women wait/hope for (before realizing of course that said momentous occasion is not nearly as spectacular or enjoyable as we'd hoped).

all of the women on the what to expect baby forums talked about what an incredible experience it was to feel their baby move. many called it a blessing, others said it made them less anxious to know their fetus was happy and healthy. some say it feels like butterflies, still others describe it like popping popcorn. my friend asked me what it felt like and i said "it feels like there is a little human inside me, pushing out with all of his might." it's cool, but also super weird.

but here's my big secret that no one seems to want to talk about - baby kicks hurt! and you know what hurts more? movement! after about six or seven months there isn't enough room for him to actually kick or karate chop so it's relegated to more stretch like movements. which means this little sniff will take his foot (i'm assuming it's a foot?? that's another thing, i really have minimal clues as to what anatomy is where) and push...push...push...outwards. and just for fun he'll hold it there until i literally feel the need to take my hand and push it back in. oh and my favourite is when he takes all his limbs (here i'm certain  it's all unless he has four feet) and presses them all out at once. it makes me think of da vinci's vitruvian man. which, on the upside might mean my son has taken in interest in art! but on the downside it's so completely uncomfortable! when he does it for hours on end i have trouble thinking, talking to people and concentrating on any task at hand.

to take the edge off i have four ways of combatting the pain (yes, pain! it hurts people!). sometimes i laugh. it is funny, and at times it is surprising. other times i channel the what to expect woman in my head and say aloud "what a blessing you are little one!" and when jon is around i place his hand in just the right spot and try to imagine it through his eyes. sometimes he laughs and is surprised too.

most of the time i just curl up on the couch and do nothing at all.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous21.2.14

    you have such a way with words darling. beautiful post.


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