musings | age men vs. women (the conversation)

september sixteenth proved to be another excellent episode of the conversation with amanda de cadenet. there was a lot of discussion on pregnancy and children - but since i'm not there yet, i'm going to focus on a different topic today: age.

in the segment with alicia keys, the two women discuss age consciousness. they point out it's okay for men to get older, but for the women in our society there is a sense of disposal. as in, once we get older we become less useful than before. while i agree with this on some level, i think a lot of strong older women would disagree. however, age is something i have been thinking about lately in regards to my husband and i.

you see, he's getting better looking every day. and that's a problem. i know, i sound ungrateful right? for many marriages, a lack of a attraction to one's partner is a distinct issue. most women would be thrilled to wake up and find that their husband has become even more handsome. i swear, sometimes i look and jon and think "damn, that man is growing into himself. he is literally so goodlooking i could cry!"

and i might just cry because unfortunately the same miracle is not happening for me. this isn't some "woe is me i'm hideous" post. it's just true facts. jon has always looked about forty years old (*much* older women hitting on him has been a problem in the past) and each year, as he gets closer to the age he actually looks it begins to suit him better. for me though, it's clear that my youthful days have come and gone. yesterday i got honked at while walking down the street and i almost had a heart attack because that hasn't happened in about five years (i probably stepped off the curb into the road for a minute and it was a warning honk). but for serious - i'm not ugly but i'm definitely not getting better looking. in fact, i feel like i'm falling apart. i think part of it has to do with not being able to dye my hair or wear very much make-up while i've been sick.

but alas...i remind myself that with age comes experience, and wisdom, and more love.


  1. Anonymous19.9.12

    I'm concerned with it too. I'm petite (5 foot 1), so I can look very young if wearing jeans, t-shirt, and flip flops, but lately have people mistaking my age based upon information I provide or hearing (one person thought I my birth year was 1973 instead of 1983). Right now, at 28, I'm ok mentally with looking very definitely in my twenties, but am fearful of looking well into my thirties in a couple of years.

    My reminder is to focus on my accomplishments and that the most crucial piece of beauty is confidence and it radiates from within. I look best in what I most like wearing because I'm happy, not because of the actual article of clothing.

  2. I agree with Anonymous above-- true beauty comes from a confidence and radiance within-- which I'm sure you have and it will only continue to grow as you age! This is coming from someone who you may be surprised to learn, is quite a bit older than you are. ;-)

    I have a bit of the same issue with my own hubby.. we've known each other for a long time and he has only grown more and more handsome. The problem is he knows it! haha But truly, with both men AND women, as we age, we get to know ourselves better, often taking better care of ourselves than we did in our younger years and are usually more happy with who we are. We become confident enough to not follow every trend. To know that what is most important in life is to love and be loved.

    Wishing you lots of honks today! ;-)

  3. thank-you to you both for your candor and your insight. i do also believe that beauty resonates from out insides to our outsides. and i suppose it doesn't help that i've been so grumpy lately! and i must admit that as the years go by it is exactly as artsy described - i follow less trends and am finding more of the things that i specifically like. and then i do them... without a care as to what others think.

    oh gosh though i hope my husband doesn't know how much more handsome he is getting...that's bad news bears ;)


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