september sixteenth proved to be another excellent episode of the conversation with amanda de cadenet. there was a lot of discussion on pregnancy and children - but since i'm not there yet, i'm going to focus on a different topic today: age.
in the segment with alicia keys, the two women discuss age consciousness. they point out it's okay for men to get older, but for the women in our society there is a sense of disposal. as in, once we get older we become less useful than before. while i agree with this on some level, i think a lot of strong older women would disagree. however, age is something i have been thinking about lately in regards to my husband and i.
you see, he's getting better looking every day. and that's a problem. i know, i sound ungrateful right? for many marriages, a lack of a attraction to one's partner is a distinct issue. most women would be thrilled to wake up and find that their husband has become even more handsome. i swear, sometimes i look and jon and think "damn, that man is growing into himself. he is literally so goodlooking i could cry!"
and i might just cry because unfortunately the same miracle is not happening for me. this isn't some "woe is me i'm hideous" post. it's just true facts. jon has always looked about forty years old (*much* older women hitting on him has been a problem in the past) and each year, as he gets closer to the age he actually looks it begins to suit him better. for me though, it's clear that my youthful days have come and gone. yesterday i got honked at while walking down the street and i almost had a heart attack because that hasn't happened in about five years (i probably stepped off the curb into the road for a minute and it was a warning honk). but for serious - i'm not ugly but i'm definitely not getting better looking. in fact, i feel like i'm falling apart. i think part of it has to do with not being able to dye my hair or wear very much make-up while i've been sick.
but alas...i remind myself that with age comes experience, and wisdom, and more love.