musings | career greed

i don't know why, but i feel like i need to defend myself when it comes to this whole job search thing. i can't tell you how many people have said to me "well, at least you know you could find a serving job or something that isn't in the arts until the right job comes along."

i don't think that's good enough. i want a job in the arts. i worked hard for it, i have put in my time and i have the education. so why would i give up on all of that so easily? i know how these things work - you pick up a serving job "just for awhile" and then five years later you look up and wonder where the time went. or, in my case - two years later i pop out a baby and then never quite get back to where i was in my career. that's a scary thing for a woman. i want to get somewhere worthwhile before i start having children. because after that everything will be ten times more difficult.

i'm not an idiot. i know that money is a major factor and i will cave if i have to. but seeing as i am the worst pessimist/realist i know, i think my determination to do what i want with my life is to be admired not broken! not yet anyways.

here's the real reason i want to work in my chosen profession. because if i waitress or work as a cashier at a grocery store, then i'll have to fill my head with tons of information about daily specials, and ingredients and produce codes (sooo many produce codes!). the funny thing is that i'm really good at memorization so i could totally ace the knowledge expectations. but it just seems like such a waste when i so desperately want to fill my head with art and new artists and exhibition plans. i want my mind to be so full of gallery stuff that i can hardly think about anything else!

so i guess i just don't see the point in filling it with information that will (hopefully), eventually be useless to me.

please note that i'm not knocking the above mentioned jobs. i've done them for years and greatly enjoyed them. but it's not what is right for me right now. do two rights make a wrong? am i wrong to want this so badly? in today's world of out of work people, and an unsteady economic climate am i being too greedy?


  1. never. i want the same thing. not doing what you want to but writing. about food. i don't think you're being greedy at all - i think you have every right (and privilege!) to reach for what you want.

    ....i do think today's job market is changing due to all kinds of factors however - and perhaps self employment (contractual) is the way forward. we need to be more creative about how we go about finding work these days.

    i have faith in you. you're super talented and qualified and clever - you'll get it. keep fighting :)

    1. thanks for the continued support kristy. and to be honest i take much of my motivation from you - i've just been so impressed lately with how driven you've been about your career. you've really Made things happen for yourself!

  2. Anonymous3.7.12

    I completely understand from where you're coming. You've worked hard to get where you are and you don't want to settle on a career that isn't what you've worked so diligently to obtain. I think you're balanced; you're not outright refusing the possibility and you aren't settling immediately.

    That being said, I don't think you're the type to ever let the time pass in a position that you aren't happy in to be the best. With how much work you've put in to be where you're at, I don't foresee you being the person to not continue to pursue your goals.

    Best of luck in your job hunt; I'm sure you'll find that which you seek.

    1. it does make me sad when such wonderful comments come from anonymous people! thank-you for the support and the kind words :)

  3. I feel exactly the same. My grandparents always give me that crap. What they forget is that while I have nothing financial to show for ALL THE WORK I've put into my writing - this book alone has taken three years and I've only just been able to start submitting to agencies - I've put a lot of time and effort in. They've not read a page of it but they instantly assume I won't get anywhere with it because it's not a "conventional job".
    They also forget that I CAN'T get a job whatsoever because I'm my mother's carer, which suits me fine because it means I have the time to work on my writing.
    But I, too, get defensive, and I won't even remotely consider a shop job for the exact reasons you outlined. But still they push and they push. I may just break contact with them. Old people can be great, but for some reason my grandparents don't seem to like me, so it'll be no huge loss. I just can't stand the way their "conversations" with me always go the same way.

    You're not alone in this, and I'm positive others in similar fields to us feel the same. The difference between you and I is that you have the talent AND education for it, while I'm relying on talent and luck alone.

  4. I am right there with you! When I get down about this kind of thing I always tell myself that there's no do overs so why am considering wasting a huge chunk of my life doing something that I don't want to do.

    My husband and I did a lot of planning and prep work to get us to the point where I could focus on building my own creative business full time. He went back to school to get some extra training that would allow him to move up in his career and we even packed up our small apartment in Victoria and moved up to Port Alberni where the cost of living is much lower. Now we are finally in a place where I can focus on my work and it's awesome! We are even in the process of buying our first home which I never imagined would be possible living in Victoria. Not saying you should do these things, but with determination and maybe a little thinking outside the box there is always a way! :)

    1. i think it's wonderful that you are so intentional about what you want to do and how you make art a part of your life meghann! thanks for the notes and the advice! still wish you lived in victoria so we could craft together though!



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