musings | growing love

in 2007, when j and i had already been together for almost three years, if someone had told me that in four years i would be even more in love with him, i wouldn't have believed it. i would have said "nope, no way. it's not possible. how could i ever love this man more than i do now, right at this very moment?"

except, as it turns out - it is possible. now that the fuss of our wedding earlier this year has completely died down, i find myself head over heels, over the moon, totally and completely, deeply in love with my husband. yes, it's a different kind of love, but it's the same too. it's complex, but simple. it's wise, but child-like. it's passionate, but comfortable. it's everything that is supposedly opposite but wonderful all at once. 

there are ups and downs - of course there are. but more often than not i find myself looking at him and thinking about how incredibly lucky i am. 

there are things that j does for me - big romantic things that shout "i love you!" (on my birthday i woke up and he had written with chalk on the street outside our apartment in giant letters: "je t'aime") but i find it's the little things that make me want to weep with joy, and cause my heart to melt. for example - the timbits.

one night i went to tim horton's near where my husband works. i purchased a box of timbits (what do they call those in the states? donut holes?). i carried them home with me through the rain and an hour later, when i sat down on the couch and opened the box, i discovered they had given me the wrong ones. so i called j and asked if he would go tell them and bring me the right ones home after work. i could tell he was uncomfortable with the idea of not being able to return the other box, so i told him "never mind, i can hear that you don't want to so don't worry about it."

when he arrived home later, he'd brought them for me. but...it wasn't until hours later i learned that the tim's near his work had run out by that time, so he asked them to call the other location near our apartment and ask them. he had then driven there and got me a box from that store. 

i mean, stuff like that leaves me speechless. something he didn't even want to do, but he did do it and he went above and beyond, despite his embarassment. that's love i think, and my love for him grows every single day.