friendship is finicky thing isn't it? when i was younger it was drama rama 24-7. and i wasn't even one of the girls that thrived on drama. it's just unavoidable at that age. when you are developing into a mature being, there are missteps and misjudgments along the way - you sometimes hurt people. i like to think that much of this wears off by the time you become an adult, or perhaps i have learned to surround myself with people who share the same beliefs about friendship as i do.
beliefs which include the idea that life brings us changes - the hardest of which include moving apart (both geographically and metaphorically). i have friends from all aspects of my life, but few of them live in the same city as i do. in fact, sometimes i'll go weeks, months, even years without seeing or even speaking to these people. so are they still friends? i say most definitely yes. i believe there are certain people you click with and even though you may not see each other for years, it's fine. when i finally do see my old friends, i know they are true when there is no awkwardness or lack of conversation. for goodness sake there should be tons of conversation after all that time!
if you were to put me in the same room with my old leadership club buddy, my university residence roommate or my best friend from grade three, there would be no hard feelings. i don't always get in touch with one of my graduate school friends who was in my bridal party. but i know - i just know - it won't be a problem.
this isn't to say other people always feel the way i do. i've had friends become angry with me when our communication becomes lacking. this type of friendship isn't for everyone. some people need to maintain contact through phone calls, skype, emails and letters at least once a week to feel like the friendship is true - that's just not how i feel about it.
how do you feel about friendship? is it necessary to talk every day or every week? does location play a role?
my two friends that i met in highschool in 1999 - here in 2007
the same group of friends in 2009
I've always had trouble keeping in contact with my friends. I think that stems from my propensity to be drawn to damaged people, who know where to find me when they need me but aren't there when I need them. I would like to have someone with whom I am at least half as good of friends as Rob and I are...and I like to think we'd talk pretty frequently but I definitely think it depends on the friendship :) Nice post lady.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. This year I moved to Sydney, leaving most of my friends in Brisbane. My best friend and I used to Skype every week but our crazy, mismatched work schedules have made that almost impossible to maintain - but we text each other regularly.
ReplyDeleteI also work in an industry where you make friends instantly at work and work intensely together for months, then may not see each other again (except for on Facebook).
Plus, Sydney is so transient that all the friends I have made this year, have moved elsewhere.
I think I've had to grow accustomed to long distance friendships and knowing that if you have a true friendship, distance and time have no real impact!
I think that is grown up life. Boyfriends and husbands and jobs and babies and travels all mean that you can't live on top of each other like you did when you saw each other every day at school.
Whoa, sorry, I just wrote a novel - it's just something I've been thinking about a lot lately, so I have a lot to say on the subject! Thanks for the post. Kx
I have friends I talk to almost every day. I have friends I don't. One of my absolute closest friends and favourite people in the world I speak to only three or four times a year - and yet she knows everything important about me. I think, with true friends, it doesn't really matter - if you're there for each other when you need them, if it feels easy to be around each other, you're real friends and you find the pattern which suits you.
ReplyDeleteit's true. it's difficult to keep up every day (or even every week) with everyone. Even those closest to me. That being said, I know those that I consider most close and dear to me will be there regardless of the time and space between us.
ReplyDeleteLife is busy. It's rough. But friendship generally isn't. It's patient. And if it's a true friend, they'll be there when you need/want to connect.
TRUE, REAL friends will even lend you their chairs ;)