musings | baby fever

babies. wow! there is a lot of directions that this musings post could go in. for example, i could tell you how confused i am because i feel that i'm almost ready to start a family...but my career is not where i wanted it to be before i start said family. i could also tell you how i don't think i'm really healthy enough to make a baby. and i could tell you about how i can't stop thinking about it - wanting to hold a baby and dress and baby and pondering about how it might change our lives.

but what i want to talk about is the conversation that i had with my husband on this topic. it lasted five hours and covered everything from our lives now, our financial situation, conception, timing, beliefs, difficult/unforeseen circumstances, how to raise our children and what type of parents we ultimately hope to be.

i spent about an hour earlier that day brainstorming questions and topics that i thought should be covered. i even did a bit of research and also asked for recommended questions from friends. i know this sounds a bit dorky but having a list of "conversation starters" during our discussion was so beneficial. and of course we used them as a starting point and then expanded into our other thoughts, our own childhood memories and hypothetical life situations.

there were ups and downs. things we agreed on and things we didn't. there was things i learned about my husband that i never knew before - such as why he wants our child's name to begin with "j", why he thinks it is important to send our kids to public school, as well as some more personal things regarding adoption and fertility treatments.
but above all...i learned that he is going to be an amazing parent - perhaps even better than i! he will be patient and clever and kind.

i cannot recommend enough having a talk like this with your partner. whether it's about babies, family, money matters, house buying or just the state of your relationship. it was incredibly useful and it also felt very vital. the key of course, is that both participants must enter into the discussion with a completely open heart and mind.


  1. Oh man those talks are so hard to get anywhere.. Always such good conversations but hard to come to a final derision. I do pray for you both that it will be clear one way or another- plus who wouldn't love a patients baby?:)

  2. It's so crazy...seems like everyone is getting pregnant over here! I think it's great that you and your guy had a deep conversation about parenthood. I hadn't even thought of doing something like that. Maybe because I can't see a baby down the road yet? Like maybe 3 years? I don't know, but I think this would be a really good thing to talk about anyway, despite us not really thinking about making our little family larger at this exact moment.

  3. danie, i obviously felt the same way a couple years ago. but the more i think about it...if two people want to spend the rest of their lives together (and you've talked about that...or are married) then it's never really to soon to have this convo! i think we got lucky in that there was a lot we agreed on, and other stuff we are willing to compromise on. but there are some things that might shock and and are better knowing earlier rather than later. it was all very eye opening!


thanks for your comment, i love hearing your thoughts!