musings | 2012, 2013

well 2012 - you certainly have not been the most boring year of my life - that's for sure. when i decided to write this post and i was tossing around thoughts in my head - for a second i actually thought "it's possible this has been the worst year of my life." but i immediately retracted it. not only because i can think of so many things that would make a year worse, but because there were also some real highlights. or rather, not highlights but more of a slow burn of joy, inspiration and learning.

in 2012 i realized that one job i loved was not conducive to my mental health. i learnt that another job i loved would have an expiration date. in 2012 my career - which finally felt like it was going somewhere positive - actually took a nosedive. in 2012 my grandfather passed away, and i watched another man who is like a grandfather to me, slowly fade away. in 2012 i gained more weight than i ever thought possible, and experienced sickness and pain over and over again. in 2012 my gross wage dropped dramatically and stability became a thing of the past. in 2012 i felt scared, unattractive and lost.

in 2012 i was given opportunities to enhance my skill set and take on more responsibility than i've ever had at a job. in 2012 my career reached it's most impressive point and left me with a resume i am incredibly proud of. in 2012 i learnt that my family and friends have an endless amount of love and support to offer me. in 2012 i realized that i am more than my outer appearance. for some time i shed both make-up and self destructive thoughts. in 2012 i came to see that i am stronger than i thought. in 2012 i saved more money than i ever have in my entire life. in 2012 i was loved, comforted and inspired.

for 2013 and i want so much. it will be a year of change for me, i can feel that already. i hate change but i can see that it's necessary and so i am going to go with the flow. these changes may cover a variety of things including health, friends, family, career, home and finances. some things i hope to have a hand in...and the others - well, i'll continue to learn how to take what is handed to me.