art | ana teresa barboza

sometimes i see certain artwork and wish desperately that i was the one who created it. and i'm glad i'm not the only one who feels this way! in fact, the jealous curator has based her whole brand around artwork envy. the drawing, collage and embroidery work of ana teresa barboza makes me feel both intrigued and uncomfortable. 

for obvious reasons i've been very body conscious lately - not in a bad way. i have a very heightened awareness of physical changes and feelings (including emotional/mental). it's hard for me to ascertain what barboza is trying to express with her work as i can only find a blog in a different language. i do like the feeling of empowerment these women have over their bodies. i don't know whether they are stitching themselves together or pulling themselves apart, but i admire the ability to be in control either way.

musings | lately

after a weekend of not feeling quite up to snuff (fluid retention pain, nausea, lack of energy) this sunny monday feels good. mondays get a lot of flack but you can't deny they offer a sense of renewed energy and fresh outlook. i'm surprised i feel this way because my life is not currently defined by a work week, or even outings of any sort. it won't last long though...i can feel myself getting tired already and i've only been up for a short while!

reading |
kinfolk - the ice cream issue
i picked up a couple back issues of my favourite magazine at a speciality stationery store here in town (also online). it's nice reading about warm summer days and cold summer treats despite the constant blizzard outside. the articles and photographs in kinfolk are always something to savour and i like to read one small article before bed.

the essential guide to breastfeeding

i thought it was important to read this because although it seems like a simple, straight forward process - it's my understanding that it can be quite difficult. while the book definitely has a "breast is best" lean to it, and never once mentioned midwifery care - it's actually quite openminded about all the different ways to go about breastfeeding. this includes supplementary formula feedings, including your husband in the process and how to manage going back to work.

watching |
80's classics. we finally purchased a shelf and unpacked our entire dvd collection (it's possible my husband was more happy during this then when i told him i was pregnant. he really likes his dvd's). so we've been doing it old school this past week and watching classics like the princess bride and the neverending story.

looking forward to |
holding my son and rubbing my cheeks against his. this "looking forward to" is also contrasted by a growing anxiety. but i'm definitely getting more excited about having a baby here and being able to cuddle him and soothe him and touch all of his (sure to be) perfect parts. i've even started to dream about it which is awesome!

tired of |
this pain in my ribs. it's so constant and aggravating! i'm scared it's going to get worse. i find the most consistent things are the most tiring aren't they? evenings are particularly bad and i have to stop what i'm doing often and stretch out to give everything in my stomach cavity more room.
also, i'm tired of being tired. i know this is only going to be worse after the sniff arrives but i'm not joking when i say i wake up at ten am (after nine-ten hours sleep) and go back to bed for a two hour nap at noon. for awhile i thought maybe i was getting too much sleep. but i don't think that's it.

proud of |

the direction my stationery shop is heading in. i'm creating like crazy and hope to have three hundred products listed in the next eight weeks. i've added a lot of products and colours that i like and so i'm hoping other's do as well! i really want to keep the shop open but i need it to be perfect before i can step back a little. some of my favourite new items are these aerogram journaling envelopes.

pregnancy 1.0 | nursery picks

eight weeks away from my 'due date' (quotations infer my skepticism) and we are getting closer to creating a place for this little sniff to come home to. i shared some nursery ideas here, but as we do more research, look at prices and visit brick and mortar stores, it seems inevitable that the vision will end up a bit differently. and it all began with a dresser...

while visiting ikeas (mainly for frames, but also to look at cribs and dressers), we found the mandal. we knew we wanted a piece of furniture that was far more functional than a changing table. when we saw this cool retro style dresser, we both found ourselves drawn to it. i wanted something white and jon has a penchant for birch wood (a wood which i find can look very cheap, unless incorporated into the right design). we wanted more time to think about it, but the line was being discontinued so we took the plunge and are so happy with our choice! 

honestly speaking, buying a 500-1500 dollar crib was never an option for us. jon threatened offered to build one - which was an idea i wasn't wholly comfortable with. so after reading excellent reviews of ikea cribs online, feeling them in person, and understanding the stringent nature of both european and canadian children's product safety laws - we chose the hensvik crib.

it wasn't our intention to decorate jackson's room like an ikea catalogue - but i've always liked their products, the modern aesthetic and the prices are often hard to beat. and we do understand that kid's furniture is going to get pretty dirty and beat up (another reason not to spend thousands!).  we're excited to get white drawers and cupboards for this storage unit and hide away all the baby goodies and some of our own books.

there is basically zero free floor space in our living room and so i keep thinking about laying the baby out in his room...playing with him etc. but even with a blanket down i think the floor might be too hard. i would love to have a bit grey carpet like this one from target.

trying to find a rocking chair or glider has been such a challenge. why? because they are all SO expensive. there are some white twill rocking chairs and gliders from pottery barn that i love, and also some stunning armchair gliders from smaller high end baby websites like land of nod (which is what i really wanted). there are also some really cheap options that look like something from the 80's - but i know that will aesthetically drive me nuts. the outrageous prices have kept me searching and i think this ikea rocker + ottoman will be the perfect solution. the reviews are pretty great and it looks good too.

just a nice soft, inexpensive ikea paper lamp so as not to shock the little sniff's sensitive newborn eyes.

okay, so sometimes you agree to things because you love someone. this workstation for kiddos is one of those situations. jon gets points at his bank for doing upsell extra tasks and he's been eyeing and gushing about this little wood working play station for a month now - but we both agreed it was silly to buy something and then store it for a long time. i told him that as long as his hid the small pieces for a couple years, he could get it and we'd display it in the nursery. he's thrilled so that makes me happy.

happy | letter writing day!

i'm so happy that there is a week and a day in january (no crossover strangely enough) that celebrate the  beautiful act of letter writing. i think the day can be interpreted in many ways - whether you write a five page letter and send it by mail, or write a little note and give it in person, the act of connecting and showing someone you care is important. this is what i live for people!

to celebrate, i'm offering a discount in my stationery shop. my envelopes, writing paper and postcards are perfect for the aforementioned acts of kindness and i invite you to take 25% off with the coupon code LETTERLOVER. (25% off! holy goodness that's even better than my friends and family discount!)

shop now

pregnancy 0.9

i don't have a specific theme to talk about this week in regards to pregnancy so here's another general update. these are the things that are at the top of my mind at thirty one weeks:

mat leave | i had an interview last week, and while i have no idea whether or not i'll get the job, the whole process has definitely started a dialogue about mat leave. instead of just assuming i'll be home for six months to a year (a year! really? no not for me i don't think...) jon and i have debated how fast i can go back to work while still being comfortable with the time i've spent at home. that number varies but we've played with four months, three months and even six weeks! it's so hard to guesstimate this type of thing without the sniff being here. the result of these conversations however is the solidification that jon will take pat leave when i decide i want to go back to work. it's pretty great to be dating a modern man, i'll say that much!

ribcage pain | i put this "symptom" near the top because it's totally the worst. it's also hard to explain: it feels like the baby is actually pressing up on my ribcage (though maybe it's actually my stomach and diaphragm). it makes me wish i was five inches taller and that there was such thing as a ribcage massage (that didn't get immediately awkward wink wink;)

heartburn | i call this heartburn and not acid reflux because that's mostly what it feels like. sometimes i'll eat the tamest of things (mashed potatoes! bread!) and for the rest of the day it buuurns. nothing's happening but my throat sort of feels like it's on fire. thank goodness pregnant women are allowed tums :) and then jon comes home and says "wanna order pizza?" and i say "noooooo dear god noooo!"

nausea | they say this comes back in the third trimester. for the most part it's been pretty consistent for me (and short lived when it does occur). but i did notice over the holidays, and for awhile afterwards that i felt nauseous every single day. this kind of bummed me out when it happened during christmas parties, so i just found a quiet corner or bedroom to sit in until it passed. still no upchucking (knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood!!!) so that's fabulous.

peeing | this is no joke. i'd say i'm on a schedule of every twenty minutes. but worse than that is the urgency. i'll be fine and then all of a sudden i'll just have to go.

movement | i can finally see the little sniff move. i think i was able to feel him move and kick after twenty-two weeks but couldn't really see it until about twenty-eight weeks. that's pretty late on average i think. i have mixed feelings about movement. sometimes it's wonderful and exciting and other times it kind of hurts and feels very strange and foreign.

strangers and friends | i was so prepared from reading blogs and hearing horror stories about strangers and friends feeling like they had the right to touch my tummy and ask me all sorts of personal questions. but surprisingly this has not happened at all. not one tiny bit. everyone i've come in contact with has been incredibly respectful. and honestly? i'm kind of disappointed! i didn't realize i would be proud of the belly and want people to touch it. as for the chit chat, i have some opinions but am also open to advice. plus, there are some things you just want to talk about - personally i prefer genuine conversation over pointless small talk.

patience made | aerogram letter writer notebooks

almost two years ago (wow time flies!) i tried my hand at making some aerograms. they were cute and i liked them - and most of them sold eventually. as i was flipping through my blog stats last week i noticed that my aerogram images were a top post. which means people are googling them and taking an interest again (woohoo!). click here to learn more about what aerograms are. 

but when i looked back at the products i made...something about them bothered me...they seemed empty (i know, that's kind of the point right?). i wanted to make them more of a substantial item so i pulled out some paper and my sewing machine and got to work (any excuse to sew paper i say!). 

they turned out awesome - if i do say so myself ;) but really, i love them because they look cool and it saves letter writers time and money. for the price of a greeting card i've created a super thick envelope with 6 pages (12 double sided) and they even come with peel-able seals for easy closure! all you need is the postage!

you can view some of the aerogram notebooks in my singles section (for single envelopes that is, not just single people - couples always welcome :) speaking of couples, you'll also find aerograms in my valentines section.

oh what the hey, just click here to see them all. 

art | elyse graham

last month i went to the royal ontario museum with my father to see the mesopotamia exhibition. it was quite well done (curatorially there were a number of aspects i enjoyed - including unique videos, relaxed mood lighting and fun facts). after we viewed the special exhibition we wandered around the rest of the museum and happened upon the rock room (i don't know what it's actually called sorry). the room was full of geodes of all properties, shapes, colours and sizes. i feel like we spent forever in that space - though it was likely only thirty minutes. i was absolutely stunned by the beauty and uniqueness of the crystallizations and i left with a newfound obsession.

so needless to say i was thrilled to recently come across these 'forced' geodes by artist elyse graham. she captures the delight perfectly when she writes "geodes have been objects of wonderment for me since childhood. i was obsessed with the idea that i could go out into the landscape and pick up a rock that might just be filled with a magical surprise."

graham creates these geodes around the void created by her exhaled breath using latex, urethane, plaster and sometimes sand or powder. the result is as much a surprise to her as it is to all of us.

art | as decor (in my home)

since we moved to a new apartment last week, i've been "leaning" my art (against the walls). i have yet to hang it because i didn't like where everything was hung in our old place, and i want it to be right this time. i love all of the art i've collected over the years, and even though each and every piece is gorgeous to me, if it's not in the right spot it starts to grate on my nerves. below are some of the spots i'm thinking of hanging works.

 i still love this piece by mila czemerys and i love how other elements of the bedroom echo it's graphic black and white nature. this is the only placement i'm sure of.

khroma by annabelle marquis

(i would love another one of her pieces in these colours!)

what i really want above the couch is my collection of art prints - but sadly i can't afford to frame all of them yet. i should really make that one of my goals for this year!

i wasn't planning to hang this line drawing map victoria that i made. but i'm feeling so homesick for vancouver island, i think seeing it's shape and all of my favourite streets will comfort me. 

i really want to put these two pieces in the master bath - they are oil so it might be okay...but i've always been iffy about placing original art in an area where water and steam live. so we'll see.

this piece is a bit smaller and although i love it i often have trouble placing it. i've finally figured it out - the key is not to put it close to any other artwork, but to let it breathe and give it a wall all it's own (by the lovely m.a. tateishi)

*sadly i had to put miss carefree #3 in storage. she's just too large for this space.

patience | one word

in past years i've always made haphazard lists of new years resolutions. and i never put very much effort into sticking with them. in fact, the most resolved i've ever been was during this project (and that started in november. see all my sunday sins here)!

so when i read through other blogs about the "one word" or "word of the year" idea - i was hooked. one word that guides you through the year, redirects your attitude, and helps to center you. i hate to choose something obvious of course, so i spent a whole ten seconds trying to think of a unique and creative word to lead me through 2014. but when i thought about the past year, and what is to come this year, the word "patience" was at the forefront of my mind.

source

i know "patience" is also my last name, but that doesn't make its virtue any less pertinent for me. i rushed through 2013 like my tail was on fire. in the beginning of the year i wasn't quite working in my chosen field so i was desperate for time to move forward. i also had a spring trip with my husband planned and was very much looking forward to that. i finally found a gallery job in may, and then of course everything was all about the arts festival and the lead-up to it. following that there was the move to ontario, and of course i'm always so excited for christmas to come as soon as possible.

i'm always looking forward. and when i say "looking forward," i mean more than just "getting excited for..." i'm literally always looking to the future, and often forget about living in the present, or relishing the past (though frankly, the past is a fine line - i'm certain my husband would live in the 90's if he could! a perpetual child...yes that sounds about right). so if you can imagine it, it's kind of like my life is a movie, and i'm just fast-forwarding to all the (perceived) good parts. until my whole year is condensed into just four or five significant events.

 source

i'm sure than, that you can imagine what it's like for me to be pregnant. nine whole months of sheer anticipation! not that i'm pressing for the delivery to come any sooner than forty weeks - but i kind of feel like my life is on hold until it happens. i have so many questions, and they all relate to "what happens after?" i feel like my movie is on pause and will resume in the spring. 

except of course, i can't actually visualize anything after. who will i be as a person? what will i be like as a mother? when can i go back to work again? because even though my life hits "play" after the baby is born, i imagine it as that kind of accidental slow motion. where i meant to hit play but it's not quite moving like normal. normal, the "real play mode" for me happens when i can resume my career. i'm not sure exactly what that says about me. 

so clearly, i need a little (or a lot) of patience. now more than ever! i need to slow down, and remember that a year does not consist of five events - but rather 365 days. everything will happen in due time, including giving birth, learning how to take care of a child, and finding my dream job. and course, christmas will come again too, as it does every year ;) i need to learn to embrace the present moment, and live in it as if i want to be there. because i did choose it - all of it. 

source

musings | nesting

source (best instagram ever!)

i am nesting.

and cliche though it may be - i am not ashamed! like some of the nesting dolls below, i have been blessed with a blank canvas (new condo). this means that we have placed our big furniture pieces such as the bed, dressers and couch but there is still an additional room full of boxes (soon to be the sniff's nursery). my goals are as follows:

source

step one:
each day, my plan is to open a few boxes and find a home for everything in the box. i will do this consistently until there is nothing left in the room. i think this is going to be quite painful actually. it's so easy to look inside a box and think "i have no room for these things" or "i have no idea where this should go" or most often "i really want to throw this junk out but my nostalgic pack rat husband may actually divorce me if i do." so i must avoid the temptation to skip to a new box and end up with a room full of half opened cartons as we did with our last apartment.

source

step two:
i want to declutter. i need to declutter. i wrote that twice because the terms want and need don't really capture how i am feeling about clutter at the moment. it's like i have this physical urge to purge (sometimes that's literal and i really do feel like throwing up - but that's more pregnancy related i suspect). i guess the best way to describe it is this: i have no idea what kind of chaos having a baby will bring into my life. and i feel like the only way to handle it is to make sure that everything else around me is neat and tidy and organized - even if the baby is not.
if this means chucking or donating, that's fine. i don't think i get as attached to things as jon does.

source

step three:
i will organize and find storage solutions. i don't want to give up any of my crafts, i don't want jon to have to squelch his (somewhat questionable)) hobbies (knives?? really?), and i don't want the sniff to be toyless. toyless equals joyless - for all of us! but i do need to have things hidden. i've already begun the process by buying a number of pretty little black and white ikea boxes for the living room - seen here and here. this step is going to take some serious creativity, cleverness and lots of containers!

hey, i'm just starting spring cleaning early!